Thanksgiving is coming up and it will be long until you’re sitting at home by the fire while your loved ones attack you with questions about your personal and love life. But don’t worry, you can dodge all prying questions such as Do you have a boyfriend Are you still living in that tiny apartment with that roommate with a drinking problem? With these helpful suggestions.
Deflect any well-meaning questions from the folks that gave birth to you by asking them questions first. Beat them to the punch by grilling your parents with guilt-inducing questions such as, How can you give away my baby toys? And Why did you go on holiday without me? They’ll forget about asking you about your love life because they’ll be thinking of a delicate way to answer your many questions.
It’s not that your life isn’t going perfect, it’s just that you know when you answer 1 question, you’re opening up the floodgate to a complete interrogation. As much as you love your parents, having to explain your casual hookup situation to them when they ask when you’re going to give them grandkids is not something you want on the menu that Thanksgiving. You may easily lie, but seeing their hopeful faces as you make up a fake promotion at work only eats at you like bread in a celiacs stomach.
If you’ve exhausted all of your question askings, you may keep your family from asking about your life by choosing a fake wish to get everybody excited about. By way of instance, before your Aunt Becky can ask you, So when are you going to [insert impossible success mark relevant to your profession, like getting on SNL]? You’re able to announce,I’mm thinking about applying to grad school! Everyone will marvel at your dream, and if you’ve already has gone to grad school, then replace that with Thailand or another far away country. This will give the table at Thanksgiving something to talk about other than whats actually happening in your life. Your Aunt Susans and Uncle Jamess will jump at the opportunity to give you worldly information on your new fake statement, which should get you far enough through dinner until they’ve had enough wine to leave you alone.
When the excitement of your imitation new target wears off, you can avoid any additional questioning by simply not being home. Aside from turkey and pie cutting, youll be like a shadow on your childhood home. Disappear after dinner to satisfy your buddies for a drink and wake up early to go for a run. Whether or not you actually are out with friends is not significant, whats important is that you spend time looking bored around family members who may want to question some of your decisions for you.
So, this Thanksgiving, be prepared for personal questions from your family by preventing them all together. Cranberry sauce kisses.